Strange Things
Nov. 12th, 2025 12:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gillman My otherkin blog has been found by an IRL due to an accident from another IRL who has a therian blog. Which happens, things happen, but it did upset me.
I'm not worried about our friendship, he knows a decent bit about how I see myself as fish more than man, but it's still frustrating. I made that tumblr blog as a private space for myself, but now most of my close friends IRL know about it. It's not private anymore, and I find myself feeling exposed and embarrassed.
Recently I've deleted and shut off many of my other online personas. My gillman spaces were very comfortable, but now I feel the need to run away again. I guess I was a bit too reckless with this one, not having separate accounts and all. I don't think it will end up being good for me to have this many eyes on me. Private spaces are important to me. I've had bad OCD about surveillance for years, and knowing that I don't have a space that is As Private anymore freaks me out.
Dreamwidth is still nice, especially since I am in Mississippi. Most of those who I want to hide from don't have VPNs, so this page is all but inaccessible to them. It's not like I have anything to hide, but I just want to be alone (in regards to IRL people) a lot of the time. Who knows what will come of this, I might start posting more and more on here instead of my tumblr.
I'm not even upset about the otherkin thing. I love talking about this part of myself, and I do think my friends would have interesting takes on it. They're all very smart and cool. This is just about the violation of privacy that I've had in my spaces by them over this past year.
We'll see. Sorry this is so negative. I just need to get my grievances about this out in a place that wont be seen by those involved in this. Which is just strange for me to admit. Oh well.
I'm not worried about our friendship, he knows a decent bit about how I see myself as fish more than man, but it's still frustrating. I made that tumblr blog as a private space for myself, but now most of my close friends IRL know about it. It's not private anymore, and I find myself feeling exposed and embarrassed.
Recently I've deleted and shut off many of my other online personas. My gillman spaces were very comfortable, but now I feel the need to run away again. I guess I was a bit too reckless with this one, not having separate accounts and all. I don't think it will end up being good for me to have this many eyes on me. Private spaces are important to me. I've had bad OCD about surveillance for years, and knowing that I don't have a space that is As Private anymore freaks me out.
Dreamwidth is still nice, especially since I am in Mississippi. Most of those who I want to hide from don't have VPNs, so this page is all but inaccessible to them. It's not like I have anything to hide, but I just want to be alone (in regards to IRL people) a lot of the time. Who knows what will come of this, I might start posting more and more on here instead of my tumblr.
I'm not even upset about the otherkin thing. I love talking about this part of myself, and I do think my friends would have interesting takes on it. They're all very smart and cool. This is just about the violation of privacy that I've had in my spaces by them over this past year.
We'll see. Sorry this is so negative. I just need to get my grievances about this out in a place that wont be seen by those involved in this. Which is just strange for me to admit. Oh well.
no subject
Date: 2025-11-13 02:10 am (UTC)wish best of peace and comfort 💚