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Is this burn out? I haven't been able to fix any of the mistakes I've made yet. The deadline is approaching. I feel like everything is going to explode and I am going to lose the amazing opportunity I've been given. I can barely muster up the ability to send an email. I am so scared, and I hate it. I want help, but I'm too ashamed to ask for it right now. I've tried all day to do my work and I can't. It's eating me alive. Why is this so hard? Why can't I do this? It's scary. I'm worried I won't get better.
I feel horrible about everything right now. I hate it a lot. I have so many social activities going on right now, I love everyone in my life and my friends. They are all so wonderful. It is so strange to be struggling so much with so many wonderful people beside me.
I know in the end everything will be okay. I will still have completed one of my degrees, worst comes to worst. But I'm so ashamed to know that I might not get them both.
I've signed up for my grad school classes. I wonder if they'll force me to quit or leave if I somehow fuck this semester up. Maybe they'll keep me anyway. I don't know. How do I manage to fumble this bad at the last semester? Will this carry into grad school?
I'm sorry for this. I am just.... struggling right now. I don't feel like I can talk about it anywhere else.
My period is still gone. I'm going to miss my girlfriend a lot next semester..... the final year of their program is in a different city and I will still be here. They are so good to me... I want to crawl into bed with them but we are sleeping separately these next two weeks so they can wake up early and leave without disturbing me.
Not really sure what to do right now. It's upsetting. It's scary. I will survive it, but it will not be fun.
Alligators have survived for millions of years. They are living fossils. They have outlived every mass extinction since they were born. I am like them and I will persist and I will be okay. And I will probably bitch and moan the whole way, but I will manage it. And I can sit in the sun on a kayak and be happy and kiss my girlfriend and it will be okay soon. I just need to figure this out.
I feel horrible about everything right now. I hate it a lot. I have so many social activities going on right now, I love everyone in my life and my friends. They are all so wonderful. It is so strange to be struggling so much with so many wonderful people beside me.
I know in the end everything will be okay. I will still have completed one of my degrees, worst comes to worst. But I'm so ashamed to know that I might not get them both.
I've signed up for my grad school classes. I wonder if they'll force me to quit or leave if I somehow fuck this semester up. Maybe they'll keep me anyway. I don't know. How do I manage to fumble this bad at the last semester? Will this carry into grad school?
I'm sorry for this. I am just.... struggling right now. I don't feel like I can talk about it anywhere else.
My period is still gone. I'm going to miss my girlfriend a lot next semester..... the final year of their program is in a different city and I will still be here. They are so good to me... I want to crawl into bed with them but we are sleeping separately these next two weeks so they can wake up early and leave without disturbing me.
Not really sure what to do right now. It's upsetting. It's scary. I will survive it, but it will not be fun.
Alligators have survived for millions of years. They are living fossils. They have outlived every mass extinction since they were born. I am like them and I will persist and I will be okay. And I will probably bitch and moan the whole way, but I will manage it. And I can sit in the sun on a kayak and be happy and kiss my girlfriend and it will be okay soon. I just need to figure this out.
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