Nov. 7th, 2025

gillman: (Default)
I finally feel like I'm able to move on from figuring out pencorpus/plenanima, which I'm glad about. I'm not fully done with figuring things out on being fictionfolk, but it's getting there. For now, I've decided to turn my focus onto figuring out what to call my connection to evolution. It's not something that really needs exploring. It mostly just needs a name that isn't horrifically long. So I browsed around in the first few communities I could think of; timekin and conceptkin. 

Timekin was barren and what was there was made up of those who identified as time, as those who had domain over time, and those who believed they should have been born in a different time. I think it took me maybe ten minuets to read everything in those tumblr tags, and none of it seemed to describe what I'm trying to get it. There were a few posts on Facebook which I scrolled through, but it was mostly the same thing. 

Conceptkin had many more posts, but it wasn't exactly what I was looking for. Evolution isn't a concept in the way that, say, friendship is a concept. Its something that has happened and is happening. It's slow, but its physical. I guess the concept of change in relation to evolution could fit neatly under conceptkin neatly, but that's not what I'm going for either. Paleoconceptkin felt closer, but there is still the issue with conceptkin not being fully accurate. 

I described my search on NNP and got a suggestion pretty quickly, archaeosapience.

I am the embodiment of a very specific moment in evolution that took place during the Devonian period. I am the emergence of tetrapods and amphibians. I am that transition period between aquatic and terrestrial life. I'm not a specific species, but the events that happened in that time are very physical in me. I consider my body to be a map of these events. I hold the changes that took place during that time within me, in the shape of my bones and the way I stand. All signs of our amphibian past in the human body are tenfold in me. 

My hearthome is the Devonian. My fiction is based off of the Devonian and has become a second hearthome. I am an alien not because I'm from a different planet, but because the Devonian was so alien and different to the world I live in now. Gillmen are, in their lore, from the Devonian. There is this understanding of a happening within me, this understanding of change in the moment and change to come. But it's contained. It's apart of human evolution, but the train tracks stop at amphibians. I understand, logically, that I should be able to follow this feeling further. It should transition to becoming a human, but it doesn't. There are massive gaps in this neoma (not as it pertains to memory, more like a spatial awareness) that can't be filled. A piece is missing, and although I logically know this space is filled with primates, it's just not innate in the same way. That's why my range of knowledge and connection is so specific around this one event. 

I think this is one of the many factors pulling me to gillmen. Gillmen are that blend of human and amphibian. It's a gradient between what I know I was and what I see I am. And, because of my ambiguous physical shape as the embodiment of tetrapod evolution and the importance of that evolution in regards to my physical body, the gillman is just a natural conclusion boosted by the coincidence that popular media depicts gillmen as something from the Devonian (especially since I had this connection to Gillmen, evolution, and the Devonian before I discovered that link in media). 

Archaeosapience feels like something that I could fit into. I am a carrier of that ancient event. I am a physical manifestation of a specific moment in time. The logic I'm using for this identity is technically applicable to every biological human, however it's profoundness and importance to me has warped my sense of humanity that is deeply impactful. To some degree we might say that my gillman plenanima is a result and exploration of archaeopothos. That alienation and strangeness of that disconnect. A way to turn it from something abstract into something more concrete, my fiction-crafting as a way to engage with it directly. It's the string of my charm bracelet.

There is still, of course, the question of how to articulate the difference between my archaeosapience and that of a paleotherian. In this context, conceptkin feels a bit more correct. An archaeosapient concept, maybe. Archaeosapient personification. Who knows. I sure don't. But I am excited to have something new to poke around with and explore. Hopefully I'll develop some interesting thoughts on it as I continue along. 

November 2025

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